July 16, 2010

An open letter to Marija

The blissfully married Cory and Marija 


"Grief is the price we pay for love"
Queen Elizabeth II

Dearest Marija;

We found each other via blogging, communicating in cyberspace..........then we finally met, what was it, only 5 weeks ago?

Then you left............it wasn't supposed to be this way, we had plans, we did your BFF "pinky promise"



How often in life does an initial meeting turn into a mutual "WE WANT TO BE BFF'S FOREVER!" chant? In adulthood that is....rememberances of such utterances at 12 was not uncommon. At this age....... rarely. I am blessed with many wonderful friends; "sister" reigns as a "bestest", long time friends with shared histories,  new friends with a shared liking, unbelivable/always there friends like Joyce   ...........but you Marija were my first "everything" friend.


We planned your move to Wayne when the children finished school teasing Cory,  "we'll find another Greek Revival" to which Cory in good natured fashion replied "OK, I suppose we can do that", shrugging and raising an eyebrow of amusement, we were going to travel together to all antiquing events, meet your "precocious" Olivija and your "charmer" Nigel, work together on your landscaping


Our most immediate plans to go to Eddie and Jaithans  had us giggling with anticipation, "quick we need to get a flight!", your casualness on how I too could stay at your nearby clients "Come! She won't mind", delighted me. Then onto Washington, D.C. to see Michele of My Notting Hill, our other new friend, even plans to introduce Croatia your beloved heritage. And the THIS IS FUN!!! Let's keep meeting bloggers everywhere we go!

The twelve hour drive home was highly anticipated with so many "oh that story is too long, let's wait for the car trip"

The last Starbucks caffeine injection where you excitedly ran back to get your 'ATLANTA' mug. My watching you in awe; "how can someone be simultaneously childlike and elegant at the same time?"

Then the accident.....................



Marija...........I am haunted by the shared tragedy..........haunted that I lived and you did not.

Marija............. Grief stricken beyond belief that I asked you to drive, that I was too tired to keep going.

Marija.............questioning GOD, remembering and re-playing every detail, asking dear GOD WHY?! Why YOU!

Do know Marija that you left me with so much to learn. I may never get there friend but your example set a permanent guidepost.
     Discard jealousies and pre-conceived notions
     Give everyone a chance
     Try to be everyone's friend "it's easy and really natural, why not!"   
     Humility and intelligence is very attractive
     Self-deprecating humor is a gift bestowed upon others 
     Approach life with a child-like wonder 
     Share of yourself, be vocal about your thoughts, your feelings your life

And lastly dearest girlfriend to keep one's promises. We were and always will be BFF's, I just wanted it to go on

With all my heart and soul, loving you Marija, always
Debra






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